our LIFE

our letters to BABY

August 6, 2015 | Leave a Reply

On the night before we were to go to the hospital, we wrote individual letters to our BABY that we will share with him/her when he/she is older.

LETTER 1 – July 17 . 2015

Lincoln,

When you were born your mother and I knew that you were a special gift from God that we would adore the rest of our lives. You have given us new life and a deeper respect of the bond between two parents and their son. Your mother and I love each other very much, but our love for you is much deeper and hold us all together. One day you will know this feeling and what it means to have a child of your own. To finally reach this moment as being parents is so rewarding, and is seen as a gift that is bestowed on your mother and me.

I am sad that you will never meet my real father, but he would have been so excited to see you and express his love towards you. My hope is to build the same strong bond he and I had with you. Not to worry, but he is watching over us and making sure you are given the most love that a grandfather can give to his grandson.

I pray that you will understand what our love means towards you and how we will do everything in our power to make you feel safe, and secure. We want you to be a gentleman and understand the responsibility of your role in life. You are an Angel from God and have special gifts that will someday impact other people in meaningful ways. The most important thing is to be true to yourself and realize that your talents are unique and make you who you are no matter what others may say. I know you will be an incredible young man and cannot wait to guide you through your journey.

Thank you son, for being a part of my life. Love you more than words can say.

DAD

LETTER 2 – July 17 . 2015

Dear BabyVass,

Tomorrow is a BIG DAY! It’s the day we finally get to meet you after all these years of hope, anticipation, preparation and prayers. The first few months of your life with me went by so very slow as we prayed that everything was progressing well. Once we hit the ½ way mark, I feel the time went into fast forward and once I could feel you kicks and punches, it was a lot of fun knowing you were with me each and every day. How lucky was I to have you as my little Buddy with me every minute. We sure had fun….I know you couldn’t see where we were but you will one day see those cities and places in person.

As it was determined you would be joining this BIG world tomorrow, all my emotions collided and all I could do was cry and smile, all at the same time! The cry was mixed with happiness and many levels of scared feelings as just like you are about to enter a NEW place you have never been, we as your parents are about to experience something we have never before as we grow instantly from a couple to a family of 3! But together the 3 of us can make it through life’s journey together. As you will see, your Mama was born with a larger supply of tears than others and I have happy tears and sad tears but they are usually out of my control as they come at any moment. Your Daddy will look at me and smile, laugh occasionally, and hold me tight when I am crying in joy. He obviously accepts and controls his feelings differently than your Mama which you will witness.

When you enter this BIG world, I want you to know that your Daddy and Mama promise you this:

To be the best parents we can
To give you all the love we can
To take you on travels to beautiful cities
To be your biggest supporters
To be your biggest fans and to always cheer you on
To show you unconditional love
To provide you safe surroundings
To let you grow and evolve with your talents
To keep you safe in your surroundings
To allow you to spread your wings and grow
To give you courage

Daddy and I are over the moon excited to meet you. I know it will be my most exciting day next to the day I met your Daddy. The day I met him, I knew instantly that he was going to be my husband one day. I never knew if we were going to be the couple that dated for decades and never married but I did know that we both had a void before meeting each other. Once we were finally in the same city together, there grew another void…..it was the void of being a party of 3. Although our paths were set to do other things before that void became a reality. Your daddy and mama are at the older age of parents of infants, but we see that as advantageous for us:

We have had many years to see a lot and to mature as adults
We bring the stability of loving our jobs and can balance that with you
We have had years of great travel, memories, and independence
Our hearts have grown fuller with love we can share with you
We have gained a lot of sensibility to help as make the best decisions we can
We have formed a home that we hope you love as much as we do because we have a great room awaiting your arrival home

When I met your daddy, I quickly learned that he was the match for me and I grew quickly in love with his personality, his laughter, his extreme list of talents (that I pray you are born with that we see evolve), and his love for many similar things as me. He has an easy going personality that calms me when I get anxious and I have a sensible personality that organizes him. Together we are pretty easy going people on average, we love to travel and see new things, but we also love sitting in our family room with our feet kicked up relaxing. We hope you will love both as well! We love art and architecture, color and details, bright lights, lots of people but also love the outdoors, seeing stars and clouds and the quietness of the country and the waves of the ocean! We hope you see the joy in those things as well. We grew together in Chicago where we met and saw every site we could and we can’t wait to take you there!

From the time I first started babysitting in my younger teen years, I dreamed of being a parent one day. As I grew older, hit my 20s, hit my 30s and well….about to hit the next decade, I wasn’t sure if this was the path God had set for me. We prayed, we hoped, and we continued to love all that we had knowing it may not be what our lives were set to include. But we are the couple that truly loves children and babies. I always notice babies and they instantly put a smile to my face. And I am ready to let you put that 1^st smile to my face! I think that may come instantly after a gallon of happy tears pour down my face. Oh sweetie, I love you so much and you haven’t even joined this BIG world!

Tomorrow is the day we get to meet our bundle of joy. We pray most importantly that you will enter this BIG world safely and you will be healthy. Those have been my 2 biggest wishes. So I know tonight I probably won’t get much sleep as I should as I will be dreaming about the 1^st moment I see you and hear the doctors words.

We wonder if you will you be skinny or chunky, have lots of hair or be bald, what color will your hair be when you are born or your eye color….we know we will see what they are on your DAY 1, tomorrow. It is wonderful you will join us on our favorite day of the week, Saturday! It’s a day we typically relax, enjoy the moments of no rigid schedule, enjoy the hour of church at HPUMC Cornerstone with great music and an inspiring message that starts our week along with an enjoyable dinner out at our favorite restaurant, R&D Kitchen. The staff at R&D is anticipating your arrival and they are ready to see us return as a party of 3! If we are not in our home city, our Saturday is still typically an enjoyable day with friends, family or alone as a couple spent as a relaxed day at the beach in Florida, in a big city with friends or sightseeing on our own, or on the farm in Kansas!

I love you, my Baby!

Love, Mama

** We were not able to meet you on Saturday, instead you made your appearance on Sunday, July 19 . 2015. So all day Saturday, we were in the hospital waiting in anticipation and it was all well worth the wait!

a few last work trips travel // pre BabyVass

May 6, 2015 | Leave a Reply

May 05 . 2015

My days of travel for work and fun are coming to a close so I can spend the last 2 months in Dallas working and getting ready for BabyVass to join our family.

I wanted to make one last trip to see my designers/clients in Oklahoma before the summer. Little did I know that one full day going briskly from appt to appt would wipe me out like it did. My feet and back were aching by noon and all I could do was smile and fight on through til the end of the day, dreaming of kicking up my feet in my hotel room.

I finished my last appt by 5, was the first to eat dinner at the Aloft bar, and was up to the room by 6pm. I will admit that getting back to my room that early has never felt so good!

FOOD CRAVINGS FOR THE DAY:

We had a light lunch on the run. So we were ready to eat dinner by 5! After looking at the menu, we settled on the Chicken+Waffles skewer meal. Little did I know it came out like food you would expect at the Texas State Fair. The difference was the setting as I was able to eat it in a clean environment with 2 waitors because it was Tuesday and no one else had made it to the bar yet!

HOW DID I FEEL AT THE END OF THE DAY:

Yesterday, I had a doctors appt and my doctor told me that the next 4 weeks would potentially be my hardest month left. I was surprised as I was expecting July to be the hardest but she kept saying, No! Well great — I told her I was leaving that afternoon to do a few days of work travel! There was no time for backing out now, I was scheduled to go and I would do the best I could. Anyone that knows me, should know that I am passionate about my job and my clients so I will do all I can to be a great resource to them. The big challenge is trying to do a great job in my career while slowing my pace to take care of BabyVass.

At the end of today, I felt pain similar to what I felt when I finished the Chicago Marathon back in 2005! My back ached and the pain shot down to my feet! All I could think about in my last few miles of that race back in 2005 was similar to today which was — I couldn’t wait to sit down, lie down and just relax by the TV then (in 2005) and today (in 2015) its my ipad!

MY LOOK FOR THE DAY:

Today was a work + dressing comfortable kind of day (well thats my everyday actually). It consisted of slouchy black pants from Robbi + Nikki from Nordstroms. They have side leg pockets and elastic at the waste and bottom ankles providing maximum comfort, paired with a loose fitting grey metallic tee from Banana Republic and an open style jacket from Anthropologie — all non-maternity wardrobe buys from last summer. This was paired with my favorite ColeHaan black flats with the heavenly NikeAir in the sole — not sure what I would do without these shoes. This is actually my 2nd pair of the same shoe as I loved them so much and wore out the first pair over a year ago!

THIS WEEK:

Tomorrow, I will be at the 29 week mark. Can’t believe it! It went ultra slow for the first few months and now the days, weeks, months seem to be in fast forward. We have several fun things on the calendar in the next month so I know May will fly by quickly.

WHAT I MISS:

After long days like this, I miss a good glass of wine to sip on while finishing emails and unwinding. Although, I have got used to the idea that I can’t have a glass, so it really doesn’t bother me anymore. Not like I am going to pass up a glass come late summer/fall, but for now, I will enjoy my sparkling waters!

WHAT I AM LOVING:

Feeling the crazy movements, twirls, spins, flips, feet jabs, elbow jabs from BabyVass. I think we have a fiesty one on our hands and that is exactly as the doctors have described the Baby at each sonogram. There is always so much movement, that we can hardly see the facial features because the arms are a swinging (trying to prepare myself for bruises come the baby and toddler years when that is still happening). But keep on moving BabyVass – I love it! I don’t even care if that is what wakes me up in the middle of the night. Its reassurance that BabyVass is still in there and still growing healthy! Plus its what assures Daddy that you are really a Baby!

BEST MEMORY OF THE WEEK:

Toting BabyVass on one of my last work trips and enjoying having a little buddy along the way!

MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS WEEK:

We look forward to getting home to see the future “Daddy to be”! Although we look forward to the weekends as that is our true time together as work consumes most of the evenings of the week for Mr Vass at the moment.

MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS WEEKEND:

Saturday: This weekend we may join the neighborhood YMCA — As the Dallas temps rise, I am going to need an indoor, AC place to do some workouts, aka Walking on the Treadmill vs. around our neighborhood in the heat! Plus G is looking forward to getting back in the pool and doing a swim workout like his younger days.

In the afternoon, I have a Stella&Dot trunkshow with a lovely group of ladies that I look forward to.

Sunday: Our downtime together will be lounging and watching alot of golf, The Players Championship is on and our favorite local Dallas golfer Jordan Spieth is paired with the #1 golfer in the world Rory McIlroy.

** BabyVass, you are going to be one extra loved little Baby! Now keep growing, keep moving and stay healthy. We can’t wait to meet you in late July!

what is your path?

April 15, 2015 | Leave a Reply

Receiving my new bracelet with the engraving “Go off script. Blaze your own path” as a free gift with purchase hit me stronger than I imagined as I thought about the saying and how it related to my own life. It has quickly become a favorite. Check out: Rustic Cuff // http://www.rusticcuff.com for other inspirational options! After receiving the bracelet just a few days earlier, we attended church Saturday night to hear a new sermon series: STAND — A Life of Courage. It was then that I knew I was inspired to share my own path.

Everyone has their own path in life on where they came from and how they wove through the years to where they are today. I love hearing about these journeys from new encounters, new friends and even learning more from old friends! What is your path?

Growing up in a small town with a population of 5000 was truly awesome. Some people who have never been to a town of that size can’t even imagine what that must have been like. But for me and my friends, we had nothing to compare it to and we made the very best of it in whatever we were doing……it was where our family was, where we went to school, where we played in the parks, where we ran through the streets, where we bumped into mischief, where we succeeded in school and in sports, and where we made a 1000 memories. As I grew up from the age of 3 to my senior year of High School, I always sought out to do my best, try harder, work harder and I never took anything for granted. My parents were great supporters with a heart of gold but they also taught me strong lessons and made me appreciate what I had and what I had worked hard for to buy on my own. I loved to shop from a young age so I was always saving money so I could shop when visiting our family in Kansas City. By shopping, I mean who didn’t love the GAP in the late 80s and early 90s —- plaids, baggy jeans, rugby style shirts, faded jeans cuffed at the bottom?! If I wanted to buy the expensive jeans than I needed to save my $$ and that is exactly what I did. I mowed various land for my dad to make easy cash in the Kansas heat, and the minute I turned 16 I started filling out applications to get a part-time job. I didn’t really have time for a job after school activities but I wanted to make some cash and I loved worked working with people and so I managed to fit it all in. I guess it was just the beginning of mastering those multi-tasking, time management days!

From the age of 5, I grew up on the family farm. We lived in a house that had been in my family for over 100 years so it was special to the family but 10 miles outside of the town where most of my friends lived. This made it a bit harder to see my friends as much as I would have liked as I couldn’t just open the door and run down the street. But again, I learned to entertain myself as a kid, and I had to make plans to see my friends outside of school activities, which just made time with friends more special and fun. The advantage living on a farm did grant me was a driving permit at the age of 14 which could be used to/from school or work AND maybe a few trips off that path to hang out with friends or cruise around before making that journey home.

A few days after graduation, I moved to a new city. I had always dreamed of living in a big city so my next step in life was moving to Kansas City where I had secured a summer nanny position with an amazing family that I still love to connect with today, 21 years later. I sadly said good-bye to all my dear friends and left my last summer before going to college to move to a great city. However, leaving home and moving away at the age of 18 and knowing no one else my age to hang out with was pretty dramatic. I love people though so I stayed happy and busy with the family I was staying with and went along with their schedule in life and yes we had alot of fun in Kansas City and on the many trips to their lake house for long weekends of relaxation. It was the days before cell phones so I probably made alot of calls to my friends in the evenings. It was a summer I am sure I missed out on alot of fun in my happy, known environment but something inside of me said to go for it and try something new. My parents were always supportive but I am sure they were always thinking I would get these crazy moves and ideas out of my head and eventually want to settle close by. Little did they know….it was just the beginning! And this relates back to keeping the motivation and courage and not letting it abandon you.

At the end of the summer I went off to college, which led to a few more summers living and nannying for the same Kansas City family. In my 4th year in the Interior Architecture program we had 3 choices: find a 30 week paid internship, study abroad, or stay on campus to makeup any core classes that were needed. I would say a majority of my class chose the study abroad route. Wow….did I want to do the same? Yes! I secretly researched ways to study in Australia as it was always a place I wanted to travel to but my time dwindled, the internet wasn’t what it is today and I wasn’t quite sure how I would pay for my studies as it was something my parents weren’t so excited to back at the time and gave me alot more support on the “internship route” as they thought Kansas City would be a great place as it does have several great architecture firms. Little did they know that I had been in Kansas City for a few summers already so I was ready for the next city on my life journey. I had traveled to Chicago once on spring break trip with friends and had fallen in love with that city immediately. So when thinking of an internship, I thought of nowhere else but Chicago. I sent several resumes in the mail, followed up to sit up interviews and flew there for a few days to interview. I remember a few questions from the managing principal that hired me, “How could your parents let you move to chicago from a small town in Kansas? Are you ready? Can you do this?” When I would hear those questions or hear doubts in people’s voices, that is when it pumps extra adrenalin and encourages me even more to work even harder. Luckily he believed in me and hired me for an amazing 9 month internship that allowed me to move about 6 weeks later and experienced the special city of architecture and design.

Chicago…..who doesn’t love that city? Well….people that only visit in January may not love that city, however they just don’t know what they are missing. Growing up in the midwest, the winters didn’t bother me as much as they do others. My 9 months there in the extreme cold, the hot summer weeks were filled with a memorable internship, a long list of new work contacts, new friends and a love for a new city that I wanted to permenantly live in! This crushed my parents as they were happy to watch me try new things and succeed but they were saddened that I wasn’t going to live close by. I wouldn’t say living away from family and old friends is easy, but it makes me cherish everything even more.

When people ask where I grew up, they were/are always blown away by my response and are usually left with nothing to respond back with…..a farm, a small town (both are so unfamiliar to so many). However I don’t know if my path would be similar if I had grown up in a big city. Would I still have had the passion to venture out on new journeys to new places and to explore things on my own?! Or did my past give me the motivation and drive that was needed to make these moves to new places not knowing anyone and going after my dreams to do better, work harder, and succeed in what I tried?!

I love talking to students and the younger generation and hearing about their passions. I also love to push and encourage the younger generation to go out and explore. Perhaps they go and explore and find out where they need to be, whether that is somewhere new or somewhere that they are more familiar with from their past. No matter the decision, they sought after the dream, the journey, the next steps in life and that is the important part. “What could you do if you could had the courage, or be able to encourage others?”

I think about “….blazing my own path” and that is just a small portion of my overall journey but its something I am passionate about and wanted to share as I can’t stop staring at my new bracelet. Although I will always continue to “blaze” as hard as I can in whatever I do, I have found my happy…..a place I love in both personal and professional alongside of an amazing group of friends, family, coworkers + mentors that are spread all across the country. I also thank God everyday for watching out for me and giving me the added inspiration that has been needed along the way.

Have COURAGE in all you do…..take leaps, and make your own path. “We all have courage but sometimes it gets covered up. Find it, stand in the middle of it and let it be stirred up around you.”

With that last thought…….What is your path?

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